//...strike!...\\

Monday, August 29, 2005

If my memory didn't fail me, I gave out a really random outburst in the cafe.... Well not really that burst, cos only about... 2 guys were beside me? Actually there were 4 people behind us, and when i meant behind, is literally BEHIND, back to back... Wonder if they heard us, cos some of our '3 muskerteers' complaints revolved around the 4 of them.... I said alot of senesless stuffs and complaints and so on... But when I was on my way to MSH, i started reflecting on the words I've said a few moments ago...

Am I right to say I'm often left out? Well partially, cos I, to some extent, left MYSELF out of the class events *if there's any* maybe my socialising skills ain't that good though... I'm not really that good in speech, thus I can only express myself thru words or just some damn downright broken english... hmmm I really look forward to the day where the whole class can gather together without any barriers between us. In reality, I have never been competent; I often fared badly in almost everything I've done, be it serious work or not. That contributed to my AULSE (Abnormally Ultra Low Self-Esteem). I thought that was natural, cos what can u get out of someone who spent his childhood playing with himself and the toys around him? Yep, I grew up in the world of dinosaurs and the unreal (not undead mind u...). I often change the whole face of my grandparents' flat with my powerful imagination, be it Jurassic period or the backgrounds of my favourtie cartoon shows it really isn't any feat to me... I also became very curious when i'm periodically bored of my 3 boxes of toys. I would roam around the whole house and started rampaging through every single drawer and closet... Well not really rampaging, just checking the content :D

I think I have some responsibility over what had become of today. If only I can muster enough courage to express myself through speech... Another thing is that I thought the people in S72 seems abit... superficial? Eh but really no offence, it's just my inner thoughts... Superficial but not in the bad way, just that 4 months on we still don't really understand each other... Of course during the early period in SA I practically put on a happy mask to school every morning, only to reveal the frustrated tired worn-out face when alone in my room... Now I'm quite okay now, not donning any masks... Hmmmm if all this cloud of 'fakeness' remains (fakness souds abit too hard, but can't find any other words :P), it's really no wonder that sometime later somewhere, quarrels and misunderstandings would break up among the group of people which we used to thought 'good friends'... I don't want that to happen, for god's sake...

Ethernal Misunderstandation, the 2 words that I came up with (my previous blog name), will that be my fate for the rest of this life?

//Brandon struck at 5:38 AM\\