//...strike!...\\

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

dad may just go off anytime..

and it doesnt help that the environment outside icu is that depressing....

and somehow i know that dad will recover...

//Brandon struck at 4:19 PM\\

Monday, November 26, 2007

it never rains but pours, doesnt it?

or rather,

it hasnt even stopped raining in the first place?

//Brandon struck at 12:54 PM\\

Saturday, November 24, 2007

extraordinary week, i can say...

mon do stores until peng, still havent finish...

tues countdown to start of exercise cub, n i ould already feel the friction between the sgts and men...

wed morning, around 1am, i was praying hard for the strength to finish my shellscrap... in the end i did, but totally exhausted and yet we couldnt finish what we all were susposed to do, so oh wells.... dug ATD, not vv nice one though, but really witnessed how shagged physically and mentally all the sgts when i saw them, sigh.. is all these worth it?

thurs, finally exercise cub ended, yet more surprises laid ahead.. and all these led to..

fri, thrashing out session with our sgts, men vs sgts.. i really dont know what to say, except for maybe 2 minor issues that were kind of easily resolved... i've been through a man, a sgt, as well as an officer before NS, so i got a general idea of how life is to be like in these 3 different posts, so can just say i sort of understood both parties' issues and concern, yet i did not possess the power to resolve the numerous conflicts between my platoon and the commanders... somehow the biggest surprise laid just ahead...

to be truthful i'm really in a loss of words, there were so many thoughts at SGH ICU that i just couldnt type everything down, i just wanna burst my head through the wall and end it.. it just wont happen, do it? history kept repeating itself, i really wanaa just cry out loud for god's sake at the ICU, but i held back cos my mom and bro are still going strong, i must prove that i can be as strong... all the sudden,

i've lost the reason to even muster a smile;
i've lost my sanity;
i've lost my other part;

in came the darker side of me, threatening to undo everything i've done..

but somehow a light within came in time to regain my own spirit, the real brandon, not the one 2 years ago... i vowed before i will carry on walking no matter how tough, yet i find myself starting to crawl...

Linkin Park - Crawling
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

there's something inside me
that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing
this lack of self-control
I fear is never ending
controlling/I can't seem

to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before
so insecure

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
distracting/reacting
against my will I stand beside my own reflection
it's haunting how I can't seem...

to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before
so insecure

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not hea
lfear is how I fall

confusing
confusing what is real

there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/
confusing what is real

this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/
confusing what is real

//Brandon struck at 1:21 AM\\

Sunday, November 11, 2007

the new album is just great man...

周杰伦: 我不配

这街上太拥挤
太多人有秘密
玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去
你脸上的情绪
在还原那场雨
这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里

这日子不再绿
又斑驳了几句
剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里
电影院的座椅
隔遥远的距离
感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋

还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑的离我而去

这感觉已经不对
我努力在挽回
一些些应该体贴的感觉
我没给
你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微
在妥协是我忽略你不过要人陪
这感觉已经不对
我最后才了解
一页页不忍翻阅的情节
你好累
你默背为我掉过几次泪
多憔悴
而我心碎
你受罪
你的美

我不配

//Brandon struck at 1:27 PM\\

Friday, November 02, 2007

i have to find the source of strength to push on, army isnt too tough but it demands alot out of u, but i found myself asking,

where?

i dunno man, now my dad's hospitalised again i found myself asking,

why?

it's time to return to my usual life now, no matter how down i am, but everday i found myself asking,

how?

ha, i really look down on myself...

//Brandon struck at 9:41 PM\\