//...strike!...\\

Friday, October 13, 2006

okok i promise this will the LAST one before the A's, but this is something meaningful that i must blog it down manx....

ever wondered what kind of wisdom a simple innocent-looking watch can bring?

today was still feeling abit introvert, dont know how to talk to anyone. So went for gp mock, everything was normal, talking to those i usually talk to and keeping silent to those i dont usualy talk to.. Yeah how i wished i could have been more socialising instead of cooping myself up in the internal demon.. todae gp was screwed right from the start; made me rush down for nothing after it's been delayed for half an hour -_- anyway everything went as normal, everyone scattered as usual and i found myself nothing to do with johnny, so we went for lunch at broadway...

woot, seeing him waving to at least 4 different people just by sitting there made me green with envy, wished i could have made more friends outside class and fitness and marists, but i'm happy with my current situation... sent johnny off at the bus stop where he went to bishan cc to study, saw momo jeremy jamin n ben walking past me.. surprising the greeting lasted only 3seconds? as usual only 3 waved back..

i reached SAS to wait for someone when i realised, what the heck how come my left hand felt so light?! to my horror, the puma watch is gone! i flipped through the contents of my bag and lo and behold, it's gone!! damn, i must have left it in the coffee shop!!

at that instance i had only 2 choices: resigned to my fate and forget about it, or i dashed all the way back, which is a good few hundred metres...

i pondered and pondered, should i or should i not? in the end, i deemed the watch too priceless to leave it, so i dashed all the way back to the coffee shop. whew, got it back, some kind aunties returned it back to the drink stall.. of course i thanked them profusely...

wallking back, i wondered, "what made me turn back and dash for the watch? is it the price of the watch? or it's something more?" deep down, i know that the watch was given as a birthday present last christmas by my favourite aunt. can imagine how hurt and sad she would be if i tell her the watch is lost? i became silent and walked back to the staff room in the jc, wondering as i walked....

*drum roollll*

Friends are just like watches; you may have taken it out of your wrist when you feel like it and place it anywhere, but you will never know how priceless it could have been until the moment you realised you have lost it.. For me, i had lost many many watches, be it SAJC, be it MSHS, be it MSHS(pri)... There are some cases that i ran all the way back just to retrieve it, sometimes it's still there, sometimes not, yet there are some i just gave up and accept that it is lost forever...

now if you do not mind, ask yourself a few questions and think through the answers...

1) did you lose any watches before, especially special ones? if yes, proceed on... if no, uhmm also proceed on...

2) have u had any regrets? dont tell anyone the answer...

yeah i know, there are watches that really hurts alot when i lost it.. ok i'm a careless boy but do we give up finding more watches even if we could have lost them anyway? i dont think so... hopefully...

ok i darn promise this is the last posting before the A's, i swear on my backside.... LOLx

//Brandon struck at 11:32 PM\\

Monday, October 09, 2006

mr roland lee was so right, every students endured tramautising experiences once they entered JC not because of the sheer pressure but the coming of age. you just inevitably inherited so much responsibility that you got stunned and overwhelmed by the burst of expectations thrown at you...

yesterday was my stjohn big boss' wedding, met up with the sj people before the event. hardly surprising the distance was just too great, no more slapstick casual relaxed talking, i just couldnt connect with them smoothly. maybe it's due to the screwing up during the NCO-ship, or just maybe we have nothing to say anymore. except sandy n perhaps audric almost everyone was just waiting for each other to say something, or the next alternative is to become a professional statue. naturally and unsuprisingly i just felt being the odd one out. fast forward to the wedding, seeing how happy boss was and the rest of them who were intent on teasing him upside down, i had this unexplanable feeling. it was neither happiness or sorrow, joy or frown, it's just somewhere there... then boss, being high in liquor which is common in chinese wedding, kept on mentioning his brothers, or buddies and great bosom friends. i bet he was the happiest man last night, being happily married and sharing his joyness with all his buddies. i dont know when will i get to taste this feeling, or whether i would even able to get it, but i guess only time will tell...

reach home at around midnight, after some of them went off silently along the route i sat down on my bed, looking at the glass sovenier.. it showed a couple with the words "love can surprise us out of the blue and send us dancing". i thought it was really cool, since this is the FIRST INEDIBLE sovenier to mark the day in the calender. slept at one, after wondering alot about stuffs which i dont think i would want to put, lest people thought i'm being suicidal again... come today, totally subdued due to the lack of sleep and more than half of guys didnt turn up, i just couldnt really talk. so many things are running through my mind, and just 2 days to the end of JC school life i still feel being a stranger in my class. while the girls are happily discussing about where to go after the farewell assembly with 2 bitches, i mean, "bobby" n jeremy, i just sat down beside J and admired them. ugh, i mean, just kept quiet and listened. super subdued, i must say, my eyes are closing soon...

as for my friend, happy to see him going strong still, gogogo... it's tough, but not impossible, but tough; even though my dad suffered under the stem cell transferring which also involve chemo, even though my mum was convinced i did not care about the family, even though my bro was treating me as a punching bag... life still goes on, right? for every pw meeting i carried down the laptop from potong pasir to harbourfront to malan road and back again, for every fitness meeting i attended, despite all the hoohahs at home. i just need something to numb myself and keep me busy. after all he is a much stronger lad, mentally, than most of us, so why not? 20+ days to the big A, i believe he and the rest of the class will do well, despite all the happenings as well as the friction among us and the alieness.... jiayou man, everyone, 72 and fitness...

my wrist is hurting, why the sms replies arent coming, my head is spinning, the family stuffs are pressing, is my heart still beating

why cant life be as simple as studying and playing dota whole day long??

this will be the last update for a long time, maybe the next will come next month, or that i will nt be the author ;) cya soon blog, i will be right back...

//Brandon struck at 2:28 PM\\

Friday, October 06, 2006

Yet, the familiar sense of helplessness came back and haunt me again...

i'm loss at words

//Brandon struck at 1:00 PM\\

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

juz read one of my closest SA friend's blog and found out about his situation at home... WHY WHY WHY? His's is almost the carbon copy of what i went through last year, an experience i wished no one will ever faced, certainly my friends in SA, yet this tragedy muz strike him at such times, when the A's are looming.... damnit why??

i for one know there is someone up there, but i dont believe in God, yet he is a faithful believer, why must such things pop up only now? damnit i dont understand....

//Brandon struck at 6:46 PM\\