The Stormwatcher
Age - 20 going 21
SIAN LAH
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Other Stormwatchers
Cher-lia(Dipsy)
Darryl
Dawn
Derek
Edmund
Elton
Eric
Eugene
Fidelis
Gerwyn
GhimKui
Ian
Jack
Jamin
JeremyTay
Jia Cai
Jinyan
Jingmei
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Kaihim
KahLok
Keefe
Kenny
Kevin
Kura
Lawrence
Tianwen
Wenjin
Warnings
Credits
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Please do not delete this section...or lightning will strike you! =P
Monday, May 31, 2010
ahh sian...
actually I was in a rather bad mood, all because of a few words from my mom and then the dinner over at the grandparents'.. suddenly, there was a huge realisation on how alien family warmth is to me right now, 3 yrs of self denial is pretty long actually...
puppy love? to hell with it..
actually I was in a rather bad mood, all because of a few words from my mom and then the dinner over at the grandparents'.. suddenly, there was a huge realisation on how alien family warmth is to me right now, 3 yrs of self denial is pretty long actually...
puppy love? to hell with it..
//Brandon struck at
12:08 AM\\
Monday, May 10, 2010
alrights, on the eve of my departure to taiwan for a short hols, here's the post that I promised my dear old bloggie... hope i got the stamina to blog a huge post hahaha...
Ironically I spent the last sem blogging, on my english module that is... TO hell with all the effective communication stuffs, I havta admit its all about the common sense stuffs that people tend to overlook, so this module basically hits u on the head and says OPEN UR DAMN EYES AND MOUTH AND START TALKING PROPERLY those kind of logic... oh wells... but its 1 hell of a sem, and I'm really really unsure about my results... just hope for the best =)
No more school stuffs, at least for the next three months, as I prepare to embark on my next chapter of life: adulthood. Lol ok I think I've said that last december, but then I was in a semi-mourning state after that and immediately plunged into a hellish busy semester, where got time?! And of course, being emotionally connected to another person in life, though not my first but surely the stronger one, had me forming up another goal in life itself.. It's time to grow up dude, I tell myself, but even so at certain times I find myself needing more strength.. Strength to face the difficulties, strength to be a pillar of support, or even the strength and courage to be emo... Nevertheless, I found my answer everyday when I open my eyes while lying on bed: my family, my friends, my past and of course, you =)
I think I've lost too much to need someone or something to remind me the word 'cherish' .. It was a tough past 4 years and no doubt, this is the life-changing 4 years that directed me on the course of life that I'll be walking on.. Changes in terms of mindset, in terms of how I see the world, in terms of being with the people around me, I think there's a dramatically huge change.. I cant deny I developed a sense of despair and pessimism for family ties, and I dont have much faith as before in many things, friendship or studies etc etc.. Maybe I'm still in a half-stupor stage, tied down to the past and the fear of embracing the future, but I'm recovering, albeit 3 years on so far.. The past 2 months made me reinforced the truth that I learnt in army, that is, to focus on improving yourself rather than wasting time comparing comparing and more comparing.. There's no reason for me to compare the thing I'm doing now to the past, neither is there a reason to compare with other people in similar situations, past or present.. Doing the best I can, now, is the only way I can pull myself out of the stump... doesnt matter if I ever would be free of the shackles but at least I can be happier, the only gift that I ask for now..
And of course, life's never easy.. Especially hard in SG is happiness obtainable by any means, everyone is grumbling on and on about themselves themselves and more about themselves.. No offence, but everyone is trying to win an invisible competition where the person in the worst possible state wins... nothing? Not that I am completely out of the competition, its human nature to compete isnt it , but I just dont see the point.. Will everyone rush to get your autographs? Or you become a overnight star? Or simply, humans in Singapore are gasping for attention? Seemingly, everyone thinks the best way to console someone in distress is to reassure that he/she is in a worse state before.. YEAH C'MON GROW UP will ya? How in God's name am I going to feel better? Am I supposed to be happier just because YOU felt WORSE than me before? hahaha in case you are wondering if it happened to me just now, the answer is no... Is more like thoughts and observations gathered over the years...
For my part, I will try to help friends around me in distress, much often using my past experiences NOT as comparision, but rather offering them a different viewpoint and hence coming up with solutions from a different mindset.. People should face it up to their troubles and not finding excuses or expecting people to come forward.. We live our own lives; family and friends exist not to help you live your life, but as additional support and strength to carry on living.. BUT easier said than done right?
Frankly, I fear the future.. Which is expected since I no longer plan too far ahead in fear of disappointment.. My 21st birthday celebration would be a fine example, as of many dreams I had in the past but no longer now..
真的不得不认老。我不能说自己是全世界最惨的人类，但经历过的一切一切，还是我家人最痛苦。哈哈，满失败的我这个儿子。。人不老，心却老了几十年。死而复活的心灵，在这世界看到的只是悲哀，愤怒，哀愁，绝望，泪水。。很希望能更坚强，但是我不想欺骗任何人，不过我慢慢在恢复了。讲真的，无论什么事我还是先会以悲哀来面对，这习惯很难改，但往往还是最现实的；因为已经死过一次就再也找不回以前的幸福日子。
This ends a chapter in life and start yet another one, each chapter getting thicker and thicker.. I just need a co-author to write with me and I dont havta worry so much about the content, that's all =) hahaha...
til next time =)
Ironically I spent the last sem blogging, on my english module that is... TO hell with all the effective communication stuffs, I havta admit its all about the common sense stuffs that people tend to overlook, so this module basically hits u on the head and says OPEN UR DAMN EYES AND MOUTH AND START TALKING PROPERLY those kind of logic... oh wells... but its 1 hell of a sem, and I'm really really unsure about my results... just hope for the best =)
No more school stuffs, at least for the next three months, as I prepare to embark on my next chapter of life: adulthood. Lol ok I think I've said that last december, but then I was in a semi-mourning state after that and immediately plunged into a hellish busy semester, where got time?! And of course, being emotionally connected to another person in life, though not my first but surely the stronger one, had me forming up another goal in life itself.. It's time to grow up dude, I tell myself, but even so at certain times I find myself needing more strength.. Strength to face the difficulties, strength to be a pillar of support, or even the strength and courage to be emo... Nevertheless, I found my answer everyday when I open my eyes while lying on bed: my family, my friends, my past and of course, you =)
I think I've lost too much to need someone or something to remind me the word 'cherish' .. It was a tough past 4 years and no doubt, this is the life-changing 4 years that directed me on the course of life that I'll be walking on.. Changes in terms of mindset, in terms of how I see the world, in terms of being with the people around me, I think there's a dramatically huge change.. I cant deny I developed a sense of despair and pessimism for family ties, and I dont have much faith as before in many things, friendship or studies etc etc.. Maybe I'm still in a half-stupor stage, tied down to the past and the fear of embracing the future, but I'm recovering, albeit 3 years on so far.. The past 2 months made me reinforced the truth that I learnt in army, that is, to focus on improving yourself rather than wasting time comparing comparing and more comparing.. There's no reason for me to compare the thing I'm doing now to the past, neither is there a reason to compare with other people in similar situations, past or present.. Doing the best I can, now, is the only way I can pull myself out of the stump... doesnt matter if I ever would be free of the shackles but at least I can be happier, the only gift that I ask for now..
And of course, life's never easy.. Especially hard in SG is happiness obtainable by any means, everyone is grumbling on and on about themselves themselves and more about themselves.. No offence, but everyone is trying to win an invisible competition where the person in the worst possible state wins... nothing? Not that I am completely out of the competition, its human nature to compete isnt it , but I just dont see the point.. Will everyone rush to get your autographs? Or you become a overnight star? Or simply, humans in Singapore are gasping for attention? Seemingly, everyone thinks the best way to console someone in distress is to reassure that he/she is in a worse state before.. YEAH C'MON GROW UP will ya? How in God's name am I going to feel better? Am I supposed to be happier just because YOU felt WORSE than me before? hahaha in case you are wondering if it happened to me just now, the answer is no... Is more like thoughts and observations gathered over the years...
For my part, I will try to help friends around me in distress, much often using my past experiences NOT as comparision, but rather offering them a different viewpoint and hence coming up with solutions from a different mindset.. People should face it up to their troubles and not finding excuses or expecting people to come forward.. We live our own lives; family and friends exist not to help you live your life, but as additional support and strength to carry on living.. BUT easier said than done right?
Frankly, I fear the future.. Which is expected since I no longer plan too far ahead in fear of disappointment.. My 21st birthday celebration would be a fine example, as of many dreams I had in the past but no longer now..
真的不得不认老。我不能说自己是全世界最惨的人类，但经历过的一切一切，还是我家人最痛苦。哈哈，满失败的我这个儿子。。人不老，心却老了几十年。死而复活的心灵，在这世界看到的只是悲哀，愤怒，哀愁，绝望，泪水。。很希望能更坚强，但是我不想欺骗任何人，不过我慢慢在恢复了。讲真的，无论什么事我还是先会以悲哀来面对，这习惯很难改，但往往还是最现实的；因为已经死过一次就再也找不回以前的幸福日子。
This ends a chapter in life and start yet another one, each chapter getting thicker and thicker.. I just need a co-author to write with me and I dont havta worry so much about the content, that's all =) hahaha...
til next time =)
//Brandon struck at
10:39 PM\\
Sunday, May 02, 2010
300th post....
what's not more timely then saying,
"Happy 2nd Month!"
=)
301st shall be the illustration of the next chapter of life, after exams when all thoughts are settled down will I spend time blogging seriously long for once in a long while =)
smile smile =)
what's not more timely then saying,
"Happy 2nd Month!"
=)
301st shall be the illustration of the next chapter of life, after exams when all thoughts are settled down will I spend time blogging seriously long for once in a long while =)
smile smile =)
//Brandon struck at
10:53 PM\\