The Stormwatcher

Name - b=RAND(on)
Age - 20 going 21

SIAN LAH

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Alvernia
Cher-lia(Dipsy)
Darryl
Dawn
Derek
Edmund
Elton
Eric
Eugene
Fidelis
Gerwyn
GhimKui
Ian
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Kaihim
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Lawrence
Tianwen
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Please do not delete this section...or lightning will strike you! =P

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

why why why why why why...

life's but a lit candle,
you either let it burn to the end
or snuff it out yourself, prematurely...

you snuffed it out; that's your decision
you left behind many to grieve

but wherever you will be, i guess
..
...
....
.....
....
...
..
good bye my friend, my junior...

//Brandon struck at 8:43 PM\\

Thursday, August 24, 2006

went back to grandparents' house yesterday, it's very long since i went back on weekdays. After all i grew up there during the weekdays. Helped them in preparation for the 'closing ritual' for the hungry ghost festival, then waited for my parents to fetch. then i remembered my uncle coming later with his daughter aka my cousin lah. I think she n her younger sis n mom are quite pitiful to enter the family of my grandparent. my mum and almost all her sisters are already condemning he two poor kids even before they came into this world, plus their mom wasnt the most popular person in the house *i am... XD* Where is the love? Is it so difficult to just show them some love and care?

Anyway so i chanced upon my toy ostrich; it was actually a self-made puppet that i bought from thailand.. ermm i meant the seller made it himself ya... it's made of fabric, 4 strings, a plastic ball as the body, 2 paper clips, 2 staple bullets and a pair of chopsticks. Ingenious huh? Especially the paper clips, i think he had guessed the careless kids would tangle the puppet up in no time, so the purpose of the paper clip is to remove 2 of the 4 strings so that to untangle them would be a much easier job. Well done!! i mean, i did managed to untangle the poor ostrich and made it walk on earth again.

Then i indulge in my favourite hobby again: wonder. looking at the messed-up string reminded me about the life i went through last year and some parts of this year. throughout the process of untangling the ostrich i did feel like giving up 'cos it seemed hopelessly messed. But hey i wanted to pass it down to my cousins, so i kept on trying. After about 20mins or so, i succeeded...

my life now is full of knots, i'm still desperately trying to untie them, but more seemed to appear as i tried to unknot them...

then my parents sort of argued over unknown stuff. Serious me n my mum were clueless... but whatever, it spoilt my mood to even study...

sometimes i saw how some people lived,
i read in their blog how they spent their days studying this and complaining about the stuffs they study,
i go to school and everyone is on full-study mood,
i am damn envious of all of them....

actually dont feel like blogging now but.. sigh i feel like burning out soon..

but you know what? roland said this today, "constant velocity but with mass having a rate of change wrt time, you can still accelerate..."

//Brandon struck at 9:13 PM\\

Saturday, August 12, 2006

prelims and the ultimate A is coming, no one will be blogging daily i guess... and i really need a strong force to keep me away from pressing the 'on' button of my comp -_-

aiyo got getai downstairs, but i'm blogging here while my parents are watching down there and i'm all alone at home... seriously, the issue on that monday reappy reappy knocked the momentum out of me... it's something like, you know, running a marathon and then someone suddenly jump out and kick you in the GUT... GUT leh of all places, she aimed your 'precious'!! bloody hell wtf...!! sian manx!! or am i finding excuses not to study? i really hope not, 'cos all the juices in my brain needed for studying are MIA ie. missing in action... wakau!!

*in case if you are wondering, this post is RANDOM, i'm just a b and n away from being random...*

today went to the weekly lan outings with my ex-classmates, now tuition-mates. there was a vulgar dude there cursing and swearing at the top of his voice, totally engrossed into his dota match such that virtual became reality for him. he sure was a bad loser, swearing when he's losing and being smug whenever he seemed to be winning, cursing the opponent he defeated. i mean, my god lah what has dota changed you into, dude? you are allowing the game to control you man, and that's the stupidest thing anyone can do right now, dumbass! the lanshop is kind of underground, so there's no rules or whatsoever. we all were getting irritated by all the vulgar languages swinging here and there like some tennis balls, and we too started sprouting vulgar languages in return. i think i better cut down on my hamachis and lans, though i rarely do get addicited onto anything, if not i can kiss my A's goodbye... certainly...

ever wonder why babies are so cute? the national geographics channel taught me that it is actually a wonder of mother nature itself (errmm da vinci code?) *it's random, i've told you* babies are born to be cute specially to trigger off the parental instinct of any animals, so that it is the only line of defense between life and death for the baby. luckily for humans, we managed to become the dorminant species mainly of this reason. we dont kill each other off this way, preserving our high mortaliy rate, you know. so guys and girls out there, if you sees a really cute and chubby baby anywhere and you are squealling in delight, you grab hold of some face-meat and proceeds to expand the face *you know what i mean* congrats!! your parental instinct is triggered!!

omg that is the most random stuff i can ever come out with for this blog XD okok i think i really need to mug now...

//Brandon struck at 7:56 PM\\

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

to my once-respected chem teacher...

i really hope u can see this, 'cos if i were to tell you all these face to face i guess you wouldn't even listen and concentrate only on rebutting me, so whatever... after yesterday's incident, i'm not sure anymore whether i can still respectfully greet you as my teacher 'cos i firmly believe teachers should have a passion for there job, and not constantly putting students down. you, in my humble opinion, have lost your passion, if you once ever had.

it was only kicking a soccer ball, treading it at most and not even ramming the wall forcefully or to the extent of breaking fans. we got caught, yes ok we told the teacher our class and, yours truly, name to him and i believed he must have reported to you immediately, for you smsed all the guys in the class later during physics lecture. so ok i admitted, i apologised, i took responsibility even though it was only my first or second time playing ball in the class. i cleaned the wall together with weijing, imran and punhon. but most importantly, what did you do in return? you actually called my mother; you told her that i'm

showing bad attitude in school

hanging out with bad company

getting worse results

unmotivated for my studies


up til now i still cant understand since when did i ever stepped on your tail, for these words you said to my mother seemed like an irresponsible personal attack. i tell you why.

showing bad attitude in school
since when had i been rude to any teachers? i attended all tutorials, i skipped a few revision lectures here and there, i've been faithful in doing all my work, i've apologised to you, i've taken responsiblity for my mistakes, so you tell me, have i been showing bad attitude to anyone? maybe the way i speak irks you, but i tell you, i have not been eloquent ever since i was born. i dont have a fantastic tongue that can spews out fluent english. but is that bad attitude to you? if it is, i got nothing to say...

hanging out with bad company
who's the bad company? you mean weijing, marcel, imran, punhon, johnny? you mean they are the bad company? oh please you have belittled me; am i that sort of person who get influenced so easily? incredibly you thought so! so far i had no problem communicating with anyone, and let me reveal something about me: i'm a loner, i have no cliques, i dont know whether i do have buddies in this god-darn school.

getting worse results
hello can you check your statistics? i'm constantly above the 65th percentile for all A'level subjects ever since i entered this god-darn school. i was worried 'cos i was too consistent, i just cant seemed to improve my percentile and here you are telling my mother that i had deproved? are you joking? are you pulling a rabbit out of the hat? is that one of your ways to motivate me? sorry, YOU HAVE FAILED TERRIBLY TO THE ZERO POINT, 'cos you have effectively removed all the motviation i had for studying, thanks!!

unmotivated
i still cant believe you see me as an unmotivated person. i know you doesnt know how hard i'm trying everyday to mug like some nerds, but you will never understand the level of stress i'm under. do you know, for example, what kind of mentality do i come to school everyday? Not to play, not to slack, but i'm darn worried, i'm darn scared. why? my father's alone at home, whenever his shingles act up again he would be ALONE at home, clutching his head and grimacing in pain, rolling on his bed tossing and turning. what if he faints at home? nobody will know i comes home at, oh, 4+? you tell me, YOU TELL ME, how in the heck am i going to be so super motivated and undistracted and fully concentrate in my studies?

and the irresponsible words you said to my mother yesterday, you've just made me wonder how can you become a teacher in the first place? you are constantly being sarcastic, you dont show your concern to us generously, you rarely give words of encouragements, is that your norm of being a teacher? for god's sake, what you had said have effectively piled more pressure onto my mother. she's the only one working in our family, she had to take care my father, she had to tackle housework daily, and all because of your words she had lost trust in me. i could not longer communicate without quarelling. because of your irresponsible words, you have turned my family upside down. i know your intentions may be kind, but why must you tell these irresponsible stuffs to my mother? do you really want her to crumple under the stress? then you tell me, YOU TELL ME, how am i going to ever do well for the A'levels without worrying for my family situation? i need not sarcasism, i need not misunderstandings... i'm disappointed, misunderstood, betrayed, alone, filled with fury, hatred... i'm feeling murderous...

once again, your irresponsibility is forcing both me and my family to the edge, it is that serious i swear. so be it, since you dont respect me then why should i too? if you so badly want to see the darker side of me, i WIll show you how dark i can actually be, so be it...

From,
your once-faithful student of yours.


just fuck off

//Brandon struck at 1:01 PM\\