The Stormwatcher
Age - 20 going 21
SIAN LAH
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Strike Zones
[[Storm Center]]
Other Stormwatchers
Cher-lia(Dipsy)
Darryl
Dawn
Derek
Edmund
Elton
Eric
Eugene
Fidelis
Gerwyn
GhimKui
Ian
Jack
Jamin
JeremyTay
Jia Cai
Jinyan
Jingmei
Joanne
Kaihim
KahLok
Keefe
Kenny
Kevin
Kura
Lawrence
Tianwen
Wenjin
Warnings
Credits
Take a look at this & other blog designs @ Blogskins.c om
-------
Please do not delete this section...or lightning will strike you! =P
Monday, June 18, 2007
Linkin Park "What I've Done"
In this farewell,
There’s no blood,
There’s no alibi,
Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth
Of a thousands lies,
So let mercy come
and wash away
What I’ve Done,
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of
what I’ve done
Put to rest,
What you thought of me
While, I’ve cleaned this slate,
With the hands
Of uncertainty,
So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve Done,
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of
what I’ve done
For what I’ve done,
I start again,
And whatever pain may come,
Today this ends,
I’m forgiving
...
what ....
....
I’ve ....
....
done.....
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of
what I’ve done
What I’ve Done.....
What I’ve Done...
Forgiving what I’ve done....
sometimes alone in the room i just stare at the ceiling and wondered, have i done anything wrong to deserve all this stuffs? have i changed? for the better? or for the worse? things will never be the same as the past, but i guess the only way out for me is to continue living on, forever haunted by all this memories...
somehow, i think i need a religon...
In this farewell,
There’s no blood,
There’s no alibi,
Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth
Of a thousands lies,
So let mercy come
and wash away
What I’ve Done,
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of
what I’ve done
Put to rest,
What you thought of me
While, I’ve cleaned this slate,
With the hands
Of uncertainty,
So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve Done,
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of
what I’ve done
For what I’ve done,
I start again,
And whatever pain may come,
Today this ends,
I’m forgiving
...
what ....
....
I’ve ....
....
done.....
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of
what I’ve done
What I’ve Done.....
What I’ve Done...
Forgiving what I’ve done....
sometimes alone in the room i just stare at the ceiling and wondered, have i done anything wrong to deserve all this stuffs? have i changed? for the better? or for the worse? things will never be the same as the past, but i guess the only way out for me is to continue living on, forever haunted by all this memories...
somehow, i think i need a religon...
//Brandon struck at
11:19 AM\\
Saturday, June 16, 2007
manz.... the only real lesson i remember during the BRIDGE resilience lessons is reflection.. damn! i'm reflecting everything like a darn mirror....
but looking back, BMT is well.. i dont know what to say though, i remembered my section mates were all damn quiet and.. boring? so no choice loh i'm oso 1 hell of an introvert but had to open up and make the first move to talk and interact with them loh... glad i've done that! god knows when the someone will take the initiative though..
my buddy... well susposed to be wj but ended up ty cos got 2 pple MIA, susposedly passed their napfa b4 enlistment.. f! the 1st impression werent there at all, dude! he looked sloppy, lazy, cant-be-bothered (err, well partly coz i frm uniformed grp background so i abit critical, but hey NS is uniformed organisation) die lah, our PC also started aimming him, esp the route march incident where he unbuckle his helmet w/o permission.. the PC called him out and smacked his helmet right off in front of us, and i dont even know what to expect initially... but yea PC got high standards for us i do admit.. f lar at tt moment i was actually feeling quite down, coz at the period of time i was vv motivated to go OCS and i cant *ok i'm selfish* afford for anyone to drag me down, esp my section mates.. but in the end i managed to exorcise this selfish part of me, i told myself, my ambition is OCS, but my biggest accomplishment would be bringing my buddy and my section mates there together with me..
come field camp, like one of my worst experience of my life.. coz i fell sick on the second day of the camp, and it was a 6 day outfield, like JIALAT i cant seem to put 100% into the activities inside.. try hard as i could to stay positive, the weather alone was turning me upside down.. during the most stressful activity, the shell-script digging, i couldnt help but broke down partially.. thanks to ty jr and the 2 indian guys, anan n mani, for helping me out while i sat aside totally exhausted and spent.. cant really describe the feeling there, i'm actually feeling abit guilty.. coz i thought i'm susposed to be the one that can pull the whole section along, or maybe it's false hope given by the section com, sgt tan... but in the end, well i was a huge disappointment, to me and to anyone, if any, who pinned their hopes on me...
as the days went by, and the date of POP crept closer, my motivation for OCS waned.. i dont know why, juz that i was getting more and more disillusioned in NS, as in so what if u are an officer? so what if u are a sergeant? the only difference is the pay, or allowance in NS term, but is money really that impt? to most of the NSF pple, yes, but i would rather go for the experience.. i dont know manz, but NS looked ******* *** ********* ** **** ** ***... problems in interactions also popped out in the last few weeks of BMT.. at one hand u have a section tt makes u sometimes thinks that u r the most hated one, at the other hand u have a fren whom u know before coming into NS, and WHOM always come asking for ur sympathy whenever something cock up, but brushes u aside when the opposite situation occurs.. oh wells sometimes troubles would just come out frm my mouth.. i werent really close to anyone during the last few weeks of BMT, some sort of a loner.. yeah i know i may say myself to be handsome or a good singer, but on the reverse is everyone expecting me to be utterly serious all the time? manz, that would even bore myself out dude!
on the last night in tekong, we had a party... yea had a quarrel with ty, cant rmb what actually but i really hate it whenever someone pick on my gf, i mean c'mon, its my choice dude! i didnt even criticise others' counterpart and here u are comparing mine with others! damnit! what r u all guys treating girls as? items for comparision? i were, yes, those kind of pple last time, but after the painful ordeals and experiences over the past 2 years, i've really learnt though the hard way, of cherishing everyone around me, i dont want to live in the pain of regret if something like that happen again.. seriously the pain is really... well suicidal literally... anyway back to the party, i rmb somehow i incur ty's wrath by sayin lousy stuffs abit his brownies he made... yea i noe he spent alot of efforts in it, but really cant help but chip in a few kicks up the ass amist all the wowing and the ahs, wooooos, wahs and the salivas drooling all around.. lolx dunno what the fuss he kicking up, esp all the talks abt me behind my back and i tot he's sure i'm deaf :S but anyway let bygones be bygones....
we celebrated PC's bdae in the Annex room, yeah a happy event... used my own money to buy the ah niu cd, by now i think he din noe the cd was bought by me but who cares? i dont care manz... then he went ard asking pple whom he targetted or pple worth to take photos with... i cant help but zooomed back to the day when PC decided to target someone frm my section *since mine is the most quiet and low profile among the 4* and guess wad, i got targetted 0_0 like wow i didnt even ask for it.. other section got this jackson guy who gt targetted juz becoz his name is jackson lolx *pc is a crazy guy, fun!* that night i unintentionally attracted his attention n of cos got made fun of... i dun mind really, i'm juz uh surprised? coz i got targetted for my name anyway haha.. the turning point was the shaking of hands with jackson, and announcin to the whole world tt i'm his successor... uh... ok... i wasnt feeling any special... but back to the bunk i gt the feeling that maybe somehow i've made the wrong move.. with all the comments flying in, i'm juz a hair's length frm being described as a attention-seeker *mind u, our hairs are short* i was really, WTF?! i didnt even ask for it anyway, or at least intentionally... but it seemed that it didnt go well with most of my section mates... i had only 2 choices: to lie low frm PC or incur the wrath of my section, and well, obviously i selected the 1st one, and now i'm sort of regretting it..
i had never had the chance of becoming the platoon i/c, in my section oni lyk 4 out of nine didnt get it, and i really thought i was worthy of being given the chance to shine... but in the end, i was demoralised... no matter how hard i try, i still cant seem to get what i want.. maybe i never try hard enuff, or my hardest was not enuff... back to the party, i literally fade back to the backgrd, perharps being tired of being the clown in my section for most of the BMT... yeah gt made fun of and sometimes criticised lyk some dog, i dont know manz but i dun mind anw, as long as they are happy... coz i know myself vv well, my true self, i would juz be lost in my own world, in this pragmatic society i would become an outcast... sometimes i juzt wondered, what would happen if i were to play on with the PC? would i have fun 2gether as 1 platoon and perharps made it to OCS, or be labelled as a platoon attention seeker and be looked down upon? and all the lucky peeps whom PC specifically ask to take photo with, congrats manz, at least u left some impression in him.... wells glad to say my buddy is one of them... frm the useless hopeless category, he had worked hard to climb up all the way for everyone to recognise his ability... for me... well i didnt noe of any worthy contributions though....
My PC, Sgt Tan and many others have left a huge footprint in my life, but wad kind of footprint had i left mine on theirs? in the end i didnt pass my ippt, my soc, my back injury is something to worry abt, but i guess the biggest gift frm BMT is all the friendships i've gotten.. thanks to all u guys, coz for me i would hardly even forget u all, unless someone whack my head real hard :)
but looking back, BMT is well.. i dont know what to say though, i remembered my section mates were all damn quiet and.. boring? so no choice loh i'm oso 1 hell of an introvert but had to open up and make the first move to talk and interact with them loh... glad i've done that! god knows when the someone will take the initiative though..
my buddy... well susposed to be wj but ended up ty cos got 2 pple MIA, susposedly passed their napfa b4 enlistment.. f! the 1st impression werent there at all, dude! he looked sloppy, lazy, cant-be-bothered (err, well partly coz i frm uniformed grp background so i abit critical, but hey NS is uniformed organisation) die lah, our PC also started aimming him, esp the route march incident where he unbuckle his helmet w/o permission.. the PC called him out and smacked his helmet right off in front of us, and i dont even know what to expect initially... but yea PC got high standards for us i do admit.. f lar at tt moment i was actually feeling quite down, coz at the period of time i was vv motivated to go OCS and i cant *ok i'm selfish* afford for anyone to drag me down, esp my section mates.. but in the end i managed to exorcise this selfish part of me, i told myself, my ambition is OCS, but my biggest accomplishment would be bringing my buddy and my section mates there together with me..
come field camp, like one of my worst experience of my life.. coz i fell sick on the second day of the camp, and it was a 6 day outfield, like JIALAT i cant seem to put 100% into the activities inside.. try hard as i could to stay positive, the weather alone was turning me upside down.. during the most stressful activity, the shell-script digging, i couldnt help but broke down partially.. thanks to ty jr and the 2 indian guys, anan n mani, for helping me out while i sat aside totally exhausted and spent.. cant really describe the feeling there, i'm actually feeling abit guilty.. coz i thought i'm susposed to be the one that can pull the whole section along, or maybe it's false hope given by the section com, sgt tan... but in the end, well i was a huge disappointment, to me and to anyone, if any, who pinned their hopes on me...
as the days went by, and the date of POP crept closer, my motivation for OCS waned.. i dont know why, juz that i was getting more and more disillusioned in NS, as in so what if u are an officer? so what if u are a sergeant? the only difference is the pay, or allowance in NS term, but is money really that impt? to most of the NSF pple, yes, but i would rather go for the experience.. i dont know manz, but NS looked ******* *** ********* ** **** ** ***... problems in interactions also popped out in the last few weeks of BMT.. at one hand u have a section tt makes u sometimes thinks that u r the most hated one, at the other hand u have a fren whom u know before coming into NS, and WHOM always come asking for ur sympathy whenever something cock up, but brushes u aside when the opposite situation occurs.. oh wells sometimes troubles would just come out frm my mouth.. i werent really close to anyone during the last few weeks of BMT, some sort of a loner.. yeah i know i may say myself to be handsome or a good singer, but on the reverse is everyone expecting me to be utterly serious all the time? manz, that would even bore myself out dude!
on the last night in tekong, we had a party... yea had a quarrel with ty, cant rmb what actually but i really hate it whenever someone pick on my gf, i mean c'mon, its my choice dude! i didnt even criticise others' counterpart and here u are comparing mine with others! damnit! what r u all guys treating girls as? items for comparision? i were, yes, those kind of pple last time, but after the painful ordeals and experiences over the past 2 years, i've really learnt though the hard way, of cherishing everyone around me, i dont want to live in the pain of regret if something like that happen again.. seriously the pain is really... well suicidal literally... anyway back to the party, i rmb somehow i incur ty's wrath by sayin lousy stuffs abit his brownies he made... yea i noe he spent alot of efforts in it, but really cant help but chip in a few kicks up the ass amist all the wowing and the ahs, wooooos, wahs and the salivas drooling all around.. lolx dunno what the fuss he kicking up, esp all the talks abt me behind my back and i tot he's sure i'm deaf :S but anyway let bygones be bygones....
we celebrated PC's bdae in the Annex room, yeah a happy event... used my own money to buy the ah niu cd, by now i think he din noe the cd was bought by me but who cares? i dont care manz... then he went ard asking pple whom he targetted or pple worth to take photos with... i cant help but zooomed back to the day when PC decided to target someone frm my section *since mine is the most quiet and low profile among the 4* and guess wad, i got targetted 0_0 like wow i didnt even ask for it.. other section got this jackson guy who gt targetted juz becoz his name is jackson lolx *pc is a crazy guy, fun!* that night i unintentionally attracted his attention n of cos got made fun of... i dun mind really, i'm juz uh surprised? coz i got targetted for my name anyway haha.. the turning point was the shaking of hands with jackson, and announcin to the whole world tt i'm his successor... uh... ok... i wasnt feeling any special... but back to the bunk i gt the feeling that maybe somehow i've made the wrong move.. with all the comments flying in, i'm juz a hair's length frm being described as a attention-seeker *mind u, our hairs are short* i was really, WTF?! i didnt even ask for it anyway, or at least intentionally... but it seemed that it didnt go well with most of my section mates... i had only 2 choices: to lie low frm PC or incur the wrath of my section, and well, obviously i selected the 1st one, and now i'm sort of regretting it..
i had never had the chance of becoming the platoon i/c, in my section oni lyk 4 out of nine didnt get it, and i really thought i was worthy of being given the chance to shine... but in the end, i was demoralised... no matter how hard i try, i still cant seem to get what i want.. maybe i never try hard enuff, or my hardest was not enuff... back to the party, i literally fade back to the backgrd, perharps being tired of being the clown in my section for most of the BMT... yeah gt made fun of and sometimes criticised lyk some dog, i dont know manz but i dun mind anw, as long as they are happy... coz i know myself vv well, my true self, i would juz be lost in my own world, in this pragmatic society i would become an outcast... sometimes i juzt wondered, what would happen if i were to play on with the PC? would i have fun 2gether as 1 platoon and perharps made it to OCS, or be labelled as a platoon attention seeker and be looked down upon? and all the lucky peeps whom PC specifically ask to take photo with, congrats manz, at least u left some impression in him.... wells glad to say my buddy is one of them... frm the useless hopeless category, he had worked hard to climb up all the way for everyone to recognise his ability... for me... well i didnt noe of any worthy contributions though....
My PC, Sgt Tan and many others have left a huge footprint in my life, but wad kind of footprint had i left mine on theirs? in the end i didnt pass my ippt, my soc, my back injury is something to worry abt, but i guess the biggest gift frm BMT is all the friendships i've gotten.. thanks to all u guys, coz for me i would hardly even forget u all, unless someone whack my head real hard :)
//Brandon struck at
12:12 PM\\
Sunday, June 03, 2007
nowadays, people just die off within a snap of finger...
hearts stop suddenly,
people stop breathing suddenly,
some never wake up from their sleep anymore,
in this world of unpredictability, wad could happen to everyone the next day is really anyone's guess, and one of the newest linkin park songs really stood out to this fact...
Leave Out All The Rest
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared.
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared.
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear.
What am I leaving,
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reason to be missed.
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest.
Don't be afraid
I've taking my beating
I've shared what i've been
I'm strong on the surface
not all the way through
I've never been perfect
but neither have you
So if you're asking me I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that ive done
help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
don't resent me
and when you're feeling empty
keep me in your memory
leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
forgetting
all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
pretending
someone else can come and save me from myself
i can't be who you are
when my time comes
forget the wrong that ive done
help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
don't resent me
and when you're feeling empty
keep me in your memory
leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
forgetting
all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
pretending
someone else can come and save me from myself
i can't be who you are
i can't be who you are....
not a depressing post, just out of sudden kind of brainwave... 9 more days to POP!
hearts stop suddenly,
people stop breathing suddenly,
some never wake up from their sleep anymore,
in this world of unpredictability, wad could happen to everyone the next day is really anyone's guess, and one of the newest linkin park songs really stood out to this fact...
Leave Out All The Rest
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared.
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared.
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear.
What am I leaving,
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reason to be missed.
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest.
Don't be afraid
I've taking my beating
I've shared what i've been
I'm strong on the surface
not all the way through
I've never been perfect
but neither have you
So if you're asking me I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that ive done
help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
don't resent me
and when you're feeling empty
keep me in your memory
leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
forgetting
all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
pretending
someone else can come and save me from myself
i can't be who you are
when my time comes
forget the wrong that ive done
help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
don't resent me
and when you're feeling empty
keep me in your memory
leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
forgetting
all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
pretending
someone else can come and save me from myself
i can't be who you are
i can't be who you are....
not a depressing post, just out of sudden kind of brainwave... 9 more days to POP!
//Brandon struck at
3:23 PM\\