//...strike!...\\

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Cant believe i'm talkin to my good friend straight after i strolled home from sch HAHA man i sound like a damn introvert. In case you dont know what's -ar, it's a mode u type in during dota to get RANDOM heroes. So implying today's post is super random, and yes not random darryl-style, MY style... it going to be super disorganised, whatever comes to my head i just put it in...

this cant work. I really dont understand what the heck that hospital is forcing my family to go through, hospitalising him after every single check-up and then discharged, and the cycle continues. WTF that's vv cheap of them to suck money like that!!! Yet again i'm home alone, having dinner all by myself again and worry myself about having uniforms to wear the next morning. THX AR SGH for all the things you have done to me, i cant thank you enough maybe i go burn down the whole institute. But on the other hand, so what i'm at home? i cant get anything right, no matter how much efforts i've put into settling the housework available no one will be happy in the end. All i get, no appreciations but complains, complains and more complains. Aiya this thing not done well, that thing not done well, stupid boy everything also dont know how to do it well. Lazy boy, come home abit earlier also can die ar? Play com never do this never do that still need me to ask you to do. OI 17 years old le leh! Still like that?

Yet i AM a 17 year old boy, i had to face all these shits when other people can have a happy family, helping out occasionally and then mug without any worries about this not done, that not done. Damn, i'm not trying to say that i'm godlike or what, but can i at least enjoy my 17th year abit more?? Dont even feel like talking in school though, everything's behind the mask, damn sian of the things, i wish i can put down all the responsibility binding me right now and be an irresponsible person.

Who to blame? Only myself, if only i can be of more use, if only i can be of more help, if only everything didnt happen, if only i didnt exist, if only i can take it more to my stride so that i wont be talking to my good friend now, if only....

kept telling myself that damn, u should stop seeking sympathy votes and win friends the right way. OK FINE right way... As if everyone do not have their own problems at home, so what the heck is wrong with me?! Negativity has taken over once again....

But on a positive note, i did 4 pull-ups! Increase from 0 on feb!!

BAck to negative note, i think i should quit playing soccer from now on, or at least a keeper. All the shots that went through my legs, you know how depressing is that? Adding on to my increasingly vulnerable wrist, sigh.....

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless,
lost under the surface....
I dont know what you are expecting of me
Put under the pressure
of walking n your shoes....

(why, WHY) Every step that I take is another mistake to you...

//Brandon struck at 4:56 PM\\