//...strike!...\\

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

[Bridge:]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

[Bridge:]
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

//Brandon struck at 8:32 PM\\

Saturday, August 11, 2007

somehow i figured i found out alot of interesting stuffs during this past one month doing dumb ndp duties, but problems just overshadowed everything... life is just too short to be troubled...

standing at the exit from marina sq to suntec, i had to carry a signboard, standing like some statue of NSF and usher ticket holders (and non-ticket holders) to the marina bay, so they had to go to starbucks, which is 1 giant U-turn from where i stand, exit beside it to reach the ticket checkpoint? Easy job? u bet, but singaporeans like to ask many weird questions, many of those whom already answered their own... pls for the next ndp, DONT ASK THESE QUESTIONS ANYMORE

TOP TEN FAQ IN MARINA SQUARE DURING NDP

1. "What time is the parade?"
eh ok isn't it stated on your ticket?

2. "What time is the fireworks?"
non ticket-holders' favourite question; the answer is always '8+pm?'

3. "May i know how to get there?"
pls read my signboard, pls.... go straight turn right all the way to starbucks, repeat 'n' times

4. "What time is the fireworks, and where's the best place to view them?"
my gawd, i'm only here to usher people, not as an information counter... if i were 1 i will charge u 10 bucks for every question asked...

5. "What if i dont have the ticket?"
(in americanised tone) no ticket? then u will have to wait for next year peharps, milady...

6. "May i know how to get to _____ (any places except marina bay)?"
argh, for the last time, i'm not an information counter! i'm so gonna charge u twenty bucks...

7. "May i know what time will the road be opened?"
man, i'm sure u've read ur newspapers, so u should have known... why i dont know? NSmen dont read newspapers....

8. "What is the fastest way to the MRT?"
*faints* i gonna charge u fifty...

9. "What are you doing here?"
err... this is when i saw my friends walking by bah, lolx

and the last one...

10. "What time is the fireworks?"
..........................................................................................................

//Brandon struck at 2:05 PM\\

Friday, August 10, 2007

no doubt these few weeks were stressful, somehow all the problems just came together as a cluster... it just makes ur whole life unbearable isnt it?

tues: went to see the specialist regarding my back, he says the best cure is ORD, i say FUCK him understand? who can understand the fear i had when i momentarily lost all sensations waist down? couldnt sleep that night, was so disappointed in everything.. wanted to cry but didnt eventually... why is that everything is going against me?

wed: returned home after a day in outfield with slight fever, thinking of ponning the ndp duties but in the end didnt, took panadol and slept, whilst waiting for a sms that never came...

thurs: national day, spent the whole day at marina sq, feeling rather spent from the fever tt subsided and standing for long hours , which was torturing my back.. met up with zhanhui for supper and returned home late with another slight fever.. didnt took panadol and slept, whilst waiting for a sms that never came...

today: enjoying this much needed precious rest, trying hard to settle all the mixed feelings whirling in my head... i knew i'm trying my best in everything, but why?

things just dont happen
people just remained as they were
sceptical thoughts wont disappear
disappointment and discouragement kept settling into my head
lethargic is paralysing my whole body
breaking down seemed to be the option
but there's enough self-control within not to let it happen
somehow...
the grip is losing
the devil is devouring
the warrior within is stain in
fear, sorrow, disappointment, weakness,

Given Up (Linkin Park)
wake in a sweat again
another day's been laid to waste
in my disgrace
stuck in my head again
feels like i'll never leave this place
there's no escape

i'm my own enemy

i've given up
i'm sick of living
is there nothing u can say
take this all away
i'm suffocating
tell me what the fuck is wrong
with me....

i dont know what to take
thought i was focused but i'm scared
i'm not prepared
i hyperventilate

looking for help somehow somewhere
but no one cared

i'm my own worst enemy

i've given up
i'm sick of living
is there nothing u can say
take this all away
i'm suffocating
tell me what the fuck is wrong
with me....

put me out of my misery

put me out of my

fucking

misery!!

i've given up
i'm sick of living
is there nothing u can say
take this all away
i'm suffocating
tell me what the fuck is wrong
with me....

//Brandon struck at 2:03 PM\\