The Stormwatcher

Name - b=RAND(on)
Age - 20 going 21

SIAN LAH

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Alvernia
Cher-lia(Dipsy)
Darryl
Dawn
Derek
Edmund
Elton
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Fidelis
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Ian
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-------
Please do not delete this section...or lightning will strike you! =P

Saturday, November 24, 2007

extraordinary week, i can say...

mon do stores until peng, still havent finish...

tues countdown to start of exercise cub, n i ould already feel the friction between the sgts and men...

wed morning, around 1am, i was praying hard for the strength to finish my shellscrap... in the end i did, but totally exhausted and yet we couldnt finish what we all were susposed to do, so oh wells.... dug ATD, not vv nice one though, but really witnessed how shagged physically and mentally all the sgts when i saw them, sigh.. is all these worth it?

thurs, finally exercise cub ended, yet more surprises laid ahead.. and all these led to..

fri, thrashing out session with our sgts, men vs sgts.. i really dont know what to say, except for maybe 2 minor issues that were kind of easily resolved... i've been through a man, a sgt, as well as an officer before NS, so i got a general idea of how life is to be like in these 3 different posts, so can just say i sort of understood both parties' issues and concern, yet i did not possess the power to resolve the numerous conflicts between my platoon and the commanders... somehow the biggest surprise laid just ahead...

to be truthful i'm really in a loss of words, there were so many thoughts at SGH ICU that i just couldnt type everything down, i just wanna burst my head through the wall and end it.. it just wont happen, do it? history kept repeating itself, i really wanaa just cry out loud for god's sake at the ICU, but i held back cos my mom and bro are still going strong, i must prove that i can be as strong... all the sudden,

i've lost the reason to even muster a smile;
i've lost my sanity;
i've lost my other part;

in came the darker side of me, threatening to undo everything i've done..

but somehow a light within came in time to regain my own spirit, the real brandon, not the one 2 years ago... i vowed before i will carry on walking no matter how tough, yet i find myself starting to crawl...


Linkin Park - Crawling
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

there's something inside me
that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing
this lack of self-control
I fear is never ending
controlling/I can't seem

to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before
so insecure

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
distracting/reacting
against my will I stand beside my own reflection
it's haunting how I can't seem...

to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before
so insecure

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not hea
lfear is how I fall

confusing
confusing what is real

there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/
confusing what is real

this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/
confusing what is real

//Brandon struck at 1:21 AM\\