//...strike!...\\

Monday, May 25, 2009

For the past week i've been challenged so much by the question that is still pressing as ever, even right now... What's the meaning of being in a family? No matter how much i thought about it, i still cant find the answer.. If there's one thing that remain unchanged after dad left us, it had to be the lack of cherish in even the simplest things in life.. Things like food, family warmth, being family members etc etc have all been overlooked by petty quarrels and the insastible hunger for satisfaction..

Some people asked me why am i so addicted to gundams... Firstly, it's not an addiction; i'm merely charmed by the ideals that the term gundam depict in their so many different stories, be it Gundam Z, ZZ, G, W, X, Seed, Seed Destiny, 00, 00 s2, they all have some common storyline: they see the injustice of the world they are in (well i'm not so sure about G though hahah), they felt bitterness and they vow to change the world and their destiny with their own hands, behold Gundams... Secondly, the Sangokuden series are not the one i'm talking about; i'm merely collecting them 'cos i'm a fan of Three Kingdoms (novels, Dynasty Warriors, manga and now the gundam series).. The painting starts when i saw how dull it is without colour, simple as that.. They are on facebook so as to make my profile look more... well colourful i guess lol...

I'm not dreaming of piloting gundams mind you, i'm just attracted to the fact that our destiny are always on our own hands (maybe 10% of it couldnt be controlled, biologically... you know what i means).. Sometimes its just scary when u are lying on ur bed and realise that you just dont know what the future lies ahead.. For example just plain considering the fact that you are studying in a local uni for the next 4 years brings up alot of issues, like the source of income bank loans the common worry of whether-you-will-study-well etc etc.. Actually i'm not complaining, i'm just more of a thinker and plotter; think and ponder just about anything and then plotting out plans..

Which comes to the biggest dilemma of being just a thinker and plotter: i'm very very bad in executing my plans.. The best evidences? The failure to prepare properly for this weekend's sundown, failure to study properly a book of programming i downloaded from net, failure to get a source of income after so long since ORD, and much much more... Damn it for having such weak willpower...

I sure hope this upcoming sundown marathon will be the pump for my willpower =/

*alrites i've lost the blogging bug halfway typing lol... this post have neither heads nor tails zzz*

//Brandon struck at 8:45 PM\\