The Stormwatcher
Age - 20 going 21
SIAN LAH
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Strike Zones
[[Storm Center]]
Other Stormwatchers
Cher-lia(Dipsy)
Darryl
Dawn
Derek
Edmund
Elton
Eric
Eugene
Fidelis
Gerwyn
GhimKui
Ian
Jack
Jamin
JeremyTay
Jia Cai
Jinyan
Jingmei
Joanne
Kaihim
KahLok
Keefe
Kenny
Kevin
Kura
Lawrence
Tianwen
Wenjin
Warnings
Credits
Take a look at this & other blog designs @ Blogskins.c om
-------
Please do not delete this section...or lightning will strike you! =P
Monday, June 29, 2009
July's coming, and looking back it was a total mess since ORD.. Everything went way off the plan that i decided before ORD, and that is damn sian... And now uni's starting and i dont know what to expect of the road ahead..
At least orientation was good; met alot of nice peeps and not very surprisingly meeting someone whom is connected to my bro, his primary school friend is my AGL =_= ok lah havta face up the fact that Singapore aint really big afterall..
1 month plus after the desvastating failure at the ubi driving test centre i'm still feeling drained and somewhat dry; dry? I dont know, its just the feeling of loneliness and disappointment adding up together, and not to mention my family 'declaring war' on me, as if they are the only one suffering and i'm enjoying myself.. Its futile but i really wish he is still alive and well, at least everything will be in a much better shape than now and maybe life will be much smoother not only for me but everyone else...
Yeah right its a lonely road ahead...
At least orientation was good; met alot of nice peeps and not very surprisingly meeting someone whom is connected to my bro, his primary school friend is my AGL =_= ok lah havta face up the fact that Singapore aint really big afterall..
1 month plus after the desvastating failure at the ubi driving test centre i'm still feeling drained and somewhat dry; dry? I dont know, its just the feeling of loneliness and disappointment adding up together, and not to mention my family 'declaring war' on me, as if they are the only one suffering and i'm enjoying myself.. Its futile but i really wish he is still alive and well, at least everything will be in a much better shape than now and maybe life will be much smoother not only for me but everyone else...
Yeah right its a lonely road ahead...
//Brandon struck at
11:44 PM\\
Thursday, June 18, 2009
累了 照惯例努力清醒着
也照惯例 想你了
好怕一放心睡了
心跳在梦中 不听话的 就停止了
听着 呼吸像往常拍动着
越美丽越让我忐忑
我还能珍惜什么
如果我连自己的脉搏 都难掌握
如果我变成回忆 退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体 拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己 如此狠心
如果我变成回忆 终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发
蹒跚牵着你 看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以 让他陪你 我不怪你
快乐 什么时候会结束呢
哪一刻是最后一刻
想把你紧紧抱着
可知你是我生命中的
最舍不得
如果我变成回忆 退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体 拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己 如此狠心
如果我变成回忆 终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发
蹒跚牵着你 看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以 让他陪你
如果我变成回忆 最怕我太不争气
顽固地赖在空气 霸占你心里 每一寸空隙
连累依然爱我的你痛苦 承受失去
这样不公平 请你尽力 把我忘记
也照惯例 想你了
好怕一放心睡了
心跳在梦中 不听话的 就停止了
听着 呼吸像往常拍动着
越美丽越让我忐忑
我还能珍惜什么
如果我连自己的脉搏 都难掌握
如果我变成回忆 退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体 拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己 如此狠心
如果我变成回忆 终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发
蹒跚牵着你 看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以 让他陪你 我不怪你
快乐 什么时候会结束呢
哪一刻是最后一刻
想把你紧紧抱着
可知你是我生命中的
最舍不得
如果我变成回忆 退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体 拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己 如此狠心
如果我变成回忆 终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发
蹒跚牵着你 看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以 让他陪你
如果我变成回忆 最怕我太不争气
顽固地赖在空气 霸占你心里 每一寸空隙
连累依然爱我的你痛苦 承受失去
这样不公平 请你尽力 把我忘记
//Brandon struck at
10:47 PM\\
Monday, June 15, 2009
Today at the job interview, the manager asked some crunching questions that brought me new realisations that I've never really pondered; absurd, given my nature of being very godlike in the skill of pondering to the point that it becomes day-dreams...
Questions like, "Would you commit to our company once you have graduated from your uni?" "Our job here is different from the course that you are taking, so in the future i suspose you are furthering your career in the degree you are studying?" "Would you make a career switch to this industry in the future?"
The future... Suddenly i remembered the future that i plotted out; it happened on the day when i received my O'level cert in 2005 and saw my points for the exam.. Single digit, 9 points, a score beyond my wildest dreams.. I was so happy that night I sort of planned out how my future would be like by 2009.. I shaped it the way i wanted, then thought about the ways of getting there..
That dream was totally crushed within 3 years, and the next 2 years was nothing but a living hell physically, but more of mentally.. As I walked out after the interview (damn didnt get that job 'cos i wasnt 21 YET, must be by the minute and not by the year zzzz) I felt the familiar sense of emptiness making its return after almost 2 years.. It was as if I'm a shell, with nothing inside.. Nothing to expect, nothing to achieve, nothing to aim, nothing to gain...
I guessed I've reached a point that cannot be described as negativity; it's now pure staring at the cold hard fact that I'm facing now everyday.. I dont know how much more disappointment i can withstand, especially after the big Dream crashing down in front of me.. The eagerness to avoid disappointments always end up fueling more instead.. If they say success and achievement are the product from multiple failures and disappointments, then i will just simply state the economic law that i remembered from JC1 Economics: the law of diminishing marginal returns...
Anyway i came across an interesting passage from a book i've read recently.. It just wrote, "Negativity is a part of human nature; simply proven by the fact that everyone pays attention to any plane crashes or accidents or any bad news, but no one asks about 14,389 planes landing safely in airports worldwide."
Crude humour, huh? zzzz...
Questions like, "Would you commit to our company once you have graduated from your uni?" "Our job here is different from the course that you are taking, so in the future i suspose you are furthering your career in the degree you are studying?" "Would you make a career switch to this industry in the future?"
The future... Suddenly i remembered the future that i plotted out; it happened on the day when i received my O'level cert in 2005 and saw my points for the exam.. Single digit, 9 points, a score beyond my wildest dreams.. I was so happy that night I sort of planned out how my future would be like by 2009.. I shaped it the way i wanted, then thought about the ways of getting there..
That dream was totally crushed within 3 years, and the next 2 years was nothing but a living hell physically, but more of mentally.. As I walked out after the interview (damn didnt get that job 'cos i wasnt 21 YET, must be by the minute and not by the year zzzz) I felt the familiar sense of emptiness making its return after almost 2 years.. It was as if I'm a shell, with nothing inside.. Nothing to expect, nothing to achieve, nothing to aim, nothing to gain...
I guessed I've reached a point that cannot be described as negativity; it's now pure staring at the cold hard fact that I'm facing now everyday.. I dont know how much more disappointment i can withstand, especially after the big Dream crashing down in front of me.. The eagerness to avoid disappointments always end up fueling more instead.. If they say success and achievement are the product from multiple failures and disappointments, then i will just simply state the economic law that i remembered from JC1 Economics: the law of diminishing marginal returns...
Anyway i came across an interesting passage from a book i've read recently.. It just wrote, "Negativity is a part of human nature; simply proven by the fact that everyone pays attention to any plane crashes or accidents or any bad news, but no one asks about 14,389 planes landing safely in airports worldwide."
Crude humour, huh? zzzz...
//Brandon struck at
6:27 PM\\
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Our Singapore President, SR Nathan said, "In life we cannot stop things from happening; but when it happened we must have the faith to carry on with life.."
keep on running, no matter how tough and discouraging it might be.. I am, after all, the only runner in my own marathon of life...
keep on running, no matter how tough and discouraging it might be.. I am, after all, the only runner in my own marathon of life...
//Brandon struck at
10:18 PM\\
Friday, June 05, 2009
2 posts in 2 days... It means something is wrong, though not yet terribly wrong...
I've forgotten when was the last time i actually avoided going home on purpose after settling something outside..
Home, to me, just dont feels the same to me for awhile...
Ironic, huh? I've always treated home as if i worshipped it..
But what happens when the very people you cared for turned their backs against you?
Or at least, that's the impression and feeling i've got at home now..
I've forgotten when was the last time i actually avoided going home on purpose after settling something outside..
Home, to me, just dont feels the same to me for awhile...
Ironic, huh? I've always treated home as if i worshipped it..
But what happens when the very people you cared for turned their backs against you?
Or at least, that's the impression and feeling i've got at home now..
//Brandon struck at
11:10 PM\\
Thursday, June 04, 2009
I cant believe it either, but i'm back to the running route 3 days after completing (err ok, walked most of it zzz) sundown.. Before i forgot to mention, while running i had to skip past a moth the length of my forearm! Huge enough to cover my face... Damn it was monstrously big, its kinda scary lol... Is it a Venomoth?? LOL... Anyway yeah, had alot of stuffs going on in my head so figured maybe running will clear up all the rubbish in the agenda and correctly order all the priorities.. Alot of stuffs going on in my head? Man, this statement's gonna disappoint both mom and bro; they always assume that i'm just not thinking enough.. For the record i'm always thinking, but maybe not so much on the sensibility and the common sense side... Ok i admit i'm a born daydreamer =_=
Which made me realise how much i've drifted from this family in these turbulent 2 years.. Ironic, huh? We're susposed to be more tighter and united, but the crisis just made everything looked scarily clearer.. Everyone are just not true enough to each other; i mean what we in Chinese words say '耍心机' shouldnt even be used especially in between family and friends, but i'm seeing it everywhere, and its very frustrating when you are powerless to do anything especially in households, except to join in the game.. Something to clarify by my term of 'family' i also include second and third degree members, for eg grandparents aunts uncles cousins etc.. To say i never ever use the '耍心机' will be false, but i've seen its effect and i dont like one bit.. To strangers yes, it pays to use as a cautionary measure especially with all those marketing or similar stuffs like that, but i would prefer not to on family and friends, unless provoked..
Talking about the marketing schemes or similar, they can boast about how much they can help you earn within a short period of time or promises huge passive incomes, but i still wont join in the end, even if it means missing a golden opportunity i will still give it a miss. Why? Those people will never understand the powerful tool family support can give to a person, especially me.. If i were to take up a very unpopular choice in life right now, the opportunity cost of suffering the condemnation far exceed that of the money earned (if u earn) from such schemes.. And how come i dont hear from them when the economy is good? But anyway to point out the fact that i was a hot target for it since i'm in a single family will especially highlight the fact that family support is even more important in these crucial times.. I dont really care if i could earn big money and use huge cash to buy massive bungalows or super branded cars (For the record i dont really have dream cars, i just want it to be fuel efficient and most importantly, 4 wheels =D), but whats the point of having these if the very people you are earning for dont agree with your methods, though legal but still unorthodox? I havta apologise to my friends for rejecting such a massive massive opportunity, but i cant afford to undertake such a risk, at least in these ravage times..
Ravage times... Shouldnt people unite and be brave during such crisis? When the '耍心机' faces came out i knew straight away they wont learn any lessons... In case you are wondering, i'm in fact are still running at this point of time, maybe 8km into the distance i've clocked... Nono i dont mean i'm blog-jogging (blog-jog? sounds vulgar lol...), this is the actual trail of thoughts i had while running.. Yeah, instead of clearing and pressing the F5 button i added in more thoughts, zzzz... Better not to hang out the skeleton in the cupboard out and dry in blog i might as well change the subject.. And so i tried running again, man i vowed not to touch my running shoes for the next 3 weeks or so but i'm back into it within 3 days =_= The starting 4km is, well, not very smooth (all the more after skipping past Venomoth and scaring the hell out of me) due to a very dull pain on the left chest.. Yes yes i've heard enough medical advices to know that i should stop running and rest.. Not that i didnt stop but the pain persisted, so i carried on anyway =/ *ok it did disappear in the end*
I actually fell in love with running! For someone whose napfa didnt even pass or get a silver from primary 5 all the way to J2, it's somewhat qualifies for the Noble Prize for Slob-turned-Runner award, if there's one... It started when i signed for 42km Stanchart.. At that time i didnt even attempted a half-marathon before! So of course i had to train for it (For the record, again, i didnt even participate in AHM during army.. really!) and the training process made me a fan for running.. My favourite part of running is when your body reaches a stage, which i described as the 'warm-engine' stage, whereby it become effortless to coordinate breathing and the movement of your legs.. The euphoric feeling as if you will never ever run out of energy is simply indescribable.. I did reach warm-engine in Stanchart, only to succumb to, i'm telling the truth, cramps and simply the pain of tired muscles tightening up... Its quite normal actually; its the body's SMS to you to stop running and rest awhile 'cos it exceeded its performance limits..
Halfway completing Bishan Park, my body sent a SMS reminder to me that i've just finished Sundown and almost immediately, i came to a halt with a sudden exhausted feeling.. Man, i sure havent recover much... For my growing interest in running, i have only regretted that i'm not blessed with a body suited for running... Back injuries, poor stamina, born with a right leg longer than its left counterpart, you name it.. The sole reason why i joined stanchart and hopefully the subsequent ones is that i dont want to wait til the time when i cannot run anymore, most probably my back problem, then i regret not running when i'm able to.. My back problem sometimes hinder running, but the only way to overcome it is to just becoming stronger, thats all.. If Johnnie Walker says, "Keep on walking.." Then i guess Brannie Runner will say, "Eh, keep on running, loh.." *sounds gay lol...*
Which brought me back to the ravage times topic.. When will people learn? Will they wait til one day i was discovered lying on bishan park dead, wearing a stanchart singlet with Nike shorts and Ascis shoes? Seriously sometimes childishness just seemed to increases with age...
Wow, what a long post, i'm shagged *faints and lands on bed properly*
Which made me realise how much i've drifted from this family in these turbulent 2 years.. Ironic, huh? We're susposed to be more tighter and united, but the crisis just made everything looked scarily clearer.. Everyone are just not true enough to each other; i mean what we in Chinese words say '耍心机' shouldnt even be used especially in between family and friends, but i'm seeing it everywhere, and its very frustrating when you are powerless to do anything especially in households, except to join in the game.. Something to clarify by my term of 'family' i also include second and third degree members, for eg grandparents aunts uncles cousins etc.. To say i never ever use the '耍心机' will be false, but i've seen its effect and i dont like one bit.. To strangers yes, it pays to use as a cautionary measure especially with all those marketing or similar stuffs like that, but i would prefer not to on family and friends, unless provoked..
Talking about the marketing schemes or similar, they can boast about how much they can help you earn within a short period of time or promises huge passive incomes, but i still wont join in the end, even if it means missing a golden opportunity i will still give it a miss. Why? Those people will never understand the powerful tool family support can give to a person, especially me.. If i were to take up a very unpopular choice in life right now, the opportunity cost of suffering the condemnation far exceed that of the money earned (if u earn) from such schemes.. And how come i dont hear from them when the economy is good? But anyway to point out the fact that i was a hot target for it since i'm in a single family will especially highlight the fact that family support is even more important in these crucial times.. I dont really care if i could earn big money and use huge cash to buy massive bungalows or super branded cars (For the record i dont really have dream cars, i just want it to be fuel efficient and most importantly, 4 wheels =D), but whats the point of having these if the very people you are earning for dont agree with your methods, though legal but still unorthodox? I havta apologise to my friends for rejecting such a massive massive opportunity, but i cant afford to undertake such a risk, at least in these ravage times..
Ravage times... Shouldnt people unite and be brave during such crisis? When the '耍心机' faces came out i knew straight away they wont learn any lessons... In case you are wondering, i'm in fact are still running at this point of time, maybe 8km into the distance i've clocked... Nono i dont mean i'm blog-jogging (blog-jog? sounds vulgar lol...), this is the actual trail of thoughts i had while running.. Yeah, instead of clearing and pressing the F5 button i added in more thoughts, zzzz... Better not to hang out the skeleton in the cupboard out and dry in blog i might as well change the subject.. And so i tried running again, man i vowed not to touch my running shoes for the next 3 weeks or so but i'm back into it within 3 days =_= The starting 4km is, well, not very smooth (all the more after skipping past Venomoth and scaring the hell out of me) due to a very dull pain on the left chest.. Yes yes i've heard enough medical advices to know that i should stop running and rest.. Not that i didnt stop but the pain persisted, so i carried on anyway =/ *ok it did disappear in the end*
I actually fell in love with running! For someone whose napfa didnt even pass or get a silver from primary 5 all the way to J2, it's somewhat qualifies for the Noble Prize for Slob-turned-Runner award, if there's one... It started when i signed for 42km Stanchart.. At that time i didnt even attempted a half-marathon before! So of course i had to train for it (For the record, again, i didnt even participate in AHM during army.. really!) and the training process made me a fan for running.. My favourite part of running is when your body reaches a stage, which i described as the 'warm-engine' stage, whereby it become effortless to coordinate breathing and the movement of your legs.. The euphoric feeling as if you will never ever run out of energy is simply indescribable.. I did reach warm-engine in Stanchart, only to succumb to, i'm telling the truth, cramps and simply the pain of tired muscles tightening up... Its quite normal actually; its the body's SMS to you to stop running and rest awhile 'cos it exceeded its performance limits..
Halfway completing Bishan Park, my body sent a SMS reminder to me that i've just finished Sundown and almost immediately, i came to a halt with a sudden exhausted feeling.. Man, i sure havent recover much... For my growing interest in running, i have only regretted that i'm not blessed with a body suited for running... Back injuries, poor stamina, born with a right leg longer than its left counterpart, you name it.. The sole reason why i joined stanchart and hopefully the subsequent ones is that i dont want to wait til the time when i cannot run anymore, most probably my back problem, then i regret not running when i'm able to.. My back problem sometimes hinder running, but the only way to overcome it is to just becoming stronger, thats all.. If Johnnie Walker says, "Keep on walking.." Then i guess Brannie Runner will say, "Eh, keep on running, loh.." *sounds gay lol...*
Which brought me back to the ravage times topic.. When will people learn? Will they wait til one day i was discovered lying on bishan park dead, wearing a stanchart singlet with Nike shorts and Ascis shoes? Seriously sometimes childishness just seemed to increases with age...
Wow, what a long post, i'm shagged *faints and lands on bed properly*
//Brandon struck at
12:25 AM\\