//...strike!...\\

Friday, September 04, 2009

Fated, just after i handed up my mno tutorial which is exactly of the same question, something cropped up and made me furiously angry for the first time in like months... How do i describe, pushing away so many events and skipping the first FOC meeting, just to end up receiving the call that my tutee was sick and tuition was cancelled... Immediately i went up to kovan to purchase some gundam painting stuffs and tried buying slippers unsuccessfully, halfway through my mom called me up, then i realised i had made a wrong move today.. Instead of going up to indulge in my last minute planned shopping spree i should have went to the temple together with my mom..

Oh, so blinded by anger i actually forgotten about my dad...

Which is why i hated feeling anger; it covers ur eyes from the important stuffs that you have to do... Precisely that reason i've been trying hard to change myself from an angst-filled kid to someone better, to learn that everything happens for a reason and keep that rising temper under constraint as i search for explanations and answers to every imperfections this society can offer.. But at times when i failed badly i'm often engulfed by a sea of guilt, wishing that things had never happen, wishing that i could find some answers, wishing that i could have done better...

and so i finally completed painting a model i'm stuck at since uni life officially started, in which the process was filled with guilt and frustration..

Lately everything at home isnt very smooth; i could sense rising waves beneath the calm ocean.. Even so i feel like a grain of sand, totally powerless to do anything besides knowing that one day the ocean might burst open and conjure up a violent scene, and can only hope that it will subside when the chaos start...

in memory i remember
all the peaceful times i've enjoyed at home
all the laughters and jokes i had with friends
all the tough times i went through, with family and friends
all the mistakes so that in hope i would not repeat them foolishly again

my my, i think the consecutive days of mugging have already taken its toll; guess i'll take a break tonight so that i can clock in more days of mugging in the year ahead..

keep on running

//Brandon struck at 9:31 PM\\