//...strike!...\\

Sunday, November 14, 2010

long time no blog!

gosh look at the cobwebs xD

ok been very very busy over very very hectic schedule, or just that my time planning really cannot make it hahah.. Rushing projects from deadline to deadline, clearing assignments until the last day before submission, handling all the shits people give to each other, you name it its just an ordinary day in NUS.. And really, the last few months saw the most active and regretfully the upheaval of the ugly side of the Singapore society.. Maybe its the sociology module I took this semester, but I paid extra attention into forums this year, different ones including Yahoo!, TemasekReview etc etc.. What I thought was the feelings of frustrations pouring out online was of a surprisingly high level, but knowing Singaporeans, all talk no action and the outcome is pretty obvious isn't it?

And gangs seem to be of much interest these few days, news cover gangs on increased volumes for the past weeks or so... I remember seeing a NEA advise on public against contact with wild monkeys by saying, "Avoid provokation of wild monkeys by not staring them in the eyes." Sounds familiar, eh? Singaporeans are just another bunch of monkeys at the end of the day hahah..

Yawns, what a hectic semester! Was unwell this weekend, gotta recover fast for the exams, Stanchart Marathon and reservist! drats.. This is bad =/ and hunny isn't back from Batam yet, been waiting for the safely-reach-home call all night already..

//Brandon struck at 9:09 PM\\

Sunday, September 12, 2010

yesterday was a scary day..

wasnt feeling very normal cos had a great night before celebrating wing's birthday at glasshouse fish and co, the cam-whoring sessions and the laugh-out-loud-until-head-pain time at MINDS cafe.. Supposedly the day after it will be happy happy, but ended up more like a hangover =/

It's just this sudden overwhelmed feeling, something like an ocean tide pushing hard against your chest and your legs are not touching the seabed.. The sudden realisation of the amount of stuffs in your hands waiting to be cleared, and it all boiled over when an afternoon spent struggling with a single tutorial assignment, due coming Tues... Naturally my mood wasnt the best, girlgirl went worrying for me when I couldnt fall asleep even though I have to wake up 345am for AHM later.. True it's not the first time, but the surge is unusually huge this time round.. What happen?

I found my answers on the running route during AHM.. Kinda struggled, 'cos never trained well at all, plus the hours logged in to studies I've been neglecting my running shoes long enough.. I was running with 2 friends, and I didnt take long to find myself running alone due to the lack of stamina.. Then I rediscovered my motivation on why I starting running in these events.. It wasnt for the medals, finisher tees, vouchers, but it's for the strengthening of the determination to see through even the strongest odds.. The desire to push through the breathlessness, pain in the knee, stitch attack, exhaustion to carry on running rekindled a fire within me.. The fire that suddenly glowed into life at the end of 2007, which gave me the 'Keep on Running' mentality, admittedly faded over the past 1 year or so.. Am I complacent? Am I content with life? Have I forgotten why I started running in the first place? Quite phenomenally, I was a different person after the race...

That was when I regained the much-needed focus that I badly had to acquire for the tough semester this year.. I wasnt as scared when I came back home, took a well-enjoyed nap despite the hot weather and managed to solve the homework that I struggled so pathetically yesterday...

Power of the motivation? Never underestimate it =)

//Brandon struck at 10:18 PM\\

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Really long time no blog..

From the previous post til now, tremendous amount of happenings occured, its impossible to type out everything in my mind, positive or negative.. But certainly many new friends were made, and life has just gotten rather colourful =) Of course i still remember the double slip-ups during the rag dance itself, which was very regrettable but then whats done is done.. oh wells and now being the upcoming vice ( if it really happen ) of fow '11, rag dance seems kinda impossible... see how la ah hahah..

And i dont really like this semester, especially the modules hahah.. The EE modules can be quite challenging, really needs alot mental strength to get through this semester.. Hopefully this mario bunch can stick through this as a whole, the cracks sometimes so visible it is very infuriating how ignorant and stupid the actions human do to each other.. Oh wells just gotta focus on my own progress =/

Its not that i lost interest in blogging, juzscreamnshoutok will always be a special place among the millions and millions of webpages in the Internet, but its just that having met a special someone, blogging just havta move a step back in terms of priority and hopefully, I can make insightful posts in the future.. So for now, perhaps a break while i readjust my focus =)

but rest assured, i'm quite happy carrying on living and looking forward to everyday life =)

//Brandon struck at 9:33 PM\\

Saturday, July 24, 2010

been awhile since i've blogged.. and i must shout out this,

"PLEASE DONT LET ME BECOME SHORTER JUST BECAUSE ALICIA FELL ON MY HEAD!!"

whewww ok...

what a month! tiring but rewarding, but at the same time worrying about spending time at home etc etc... everything in life isnt really perfect; there's always a flip side to everything.. Spending time in school does helps, especially since I'm learning new stuffs or doing activities that had never crossed my mind, like dance performances and until recently, cheerleading (ouch my neck) ... But it means not having meals with family, missing out playtime, losing abit of touch with secondary school friends, having less sleep etc.. For the next two weeks, endure!! hahaha

been so tired recently too, and helping out the committee suddenly seemed such a mountain to climb... Feels bad cant really help girl much as i wanted to, cos the energy level is still very low.. and the sudden sore thoart was quite a shock, as it's normally followed by a fever... Thank gawd no fever still hahah.. For the orientation event and girlgirl, endure!! hahaha

and being tired makes you search deeper within your feelings.. how to explain? i guess is really instead of asking stuffs like, "yay i'm happy =) " , "hmmmm why am i so happy?", it's more towards pondering whether "am i happy now? or am i hiding emotionals underneath?" or feeling the unexpected surge of emotional feelings when you are just stoning, resting from exhaustion.. yesterday in a cab, i was so tired my head started spinning out questions like

"Oh man, this is bad... how i continue balancing dance, FOW etc etc..?"
A: k lah that one, just endure loh hahaha

"Where's the last time I took a cab alone?"
Which kinda reminds me of my late father..

miss sitting in his cab after a tiring day in school,
miss all the family outings that started from a Citycab Premier,
miss being so reliant on his cab to bring me around SG 'cos i noe i wouldnt get lost..

so tired in the cab, i can't get myself loose from all the constant thoughts that pouring into the brains... but as i msged girlgirl that day, "a smile makes a happy occasion even happier, but the impact is bigger during stressful times.."

i think i smiled in the cab hahaha.. guess the cab driver was rather amused by my stupid grin lol

For life, family and friends, endure!! hahaha

//Brandon struck at 9:39 PM\\

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Camp Law states that in every camp, sure got cock up one.... nice one Jaws hahahah

"It takes forever to plan out FOC, but only 4 days and everything is over.." another frequent remark I made during the camp, which I finds it rather true..

Today's final debrief marks the almost 7 months' worth of hard work preparing for FOC, Freshman Orientation Camp 2010.. Made quite alot of new friends, widen my scope of learning about human inter-relations... OK that previous remark makes me sound rather unhuman hahaha, but honestly, the only one mystery that puzzles me is how we interact with each other in our daily lives, cooperating for a major project or in an organising committee for camps etc etc.. It never fails to amaze myself on the amount of new stuffs that I can learn every single time..

Which reminds me of the stuffs back home... Havent really found pleasure in going back my childhood home, where it is falling apart and i'm quite powerless to do anything other than watching pieces by pieces, cracks after cracks forming..

Anyway, the uncanny mix of lack of understanding and selfless cooperation, two opposite poles that repel and attract at the same time, really amazed me this time round, like totally... Shouldnt go much into details, 'cos sensitive ah hahaha...

But the bunch of friends made in FOC is great! hahah never felt happier working with them even though it was a super tiring camp to organise, plan and execute, but everyone concluded the camp with a smile, more of relief and happiness.. Totally enjoyed the process, even though at some time during the camp it looked rather hopeless, but we settled down as a group, cracked our brains as a group, and executed impromptu activities as a group... Next year FOC? see how la ah hahaha....

FOW is coming up, and dear girl girl is the vicechair of the committee.... Things hasnt been going well in the committee though, I hope they have the will and the strength to pull it off successfully... jiayou girl!!

4 months loh =)

//Brandon struck at 1:23 AM\\

Monday, June 21, 2010

The song of the performance is "I Will Survive" ...

3 years on and I still shudder at the title of this song..

To perform or not? It's really the case of personal feelings over work..

//Brandon struck at 12:55 AM\\

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Happiness can be very simple..

Reading the post on tumblr made me very touched, thanks girl =)

I guess in general, when you deeply appreciate someone you loved, it comes naturally that you seek to understand her, you constantly ask yourself

how is she feeling now?

why the feeling?

is she looking for answers, or really just need a listening ear?

Or at the end of the day, all she needs is just you by her side, the presence of you alone beats all the riches and fortunes in the world.

I understood it once in the past, then I lost it... And now i understand again =)

//Brandon struck at 12:19 AM\\